Okay - I'm not about being fake. Well, at least I'd like to think so. This has been a crappy last two days. Maybe not that bad, but as we all know, any bad usually trumps all the good. So, if you are reading this hoping for some words of inspiration or new insight, I'm afriad you may be left wanting. But, if you are looking for real-ness...well, my friend, you've come to the right place. So, let's just get to the point...
I have lost most of my hope in men. (Geez, that sounded so feminine-mystique-ish.) Notice I said most. I realize there are good men out there - I work with two of the best men in the world. And kudos to you men out there who are doing right! You should be.
But for the most part, I look at the men who have walked in and out of my life - through relationships, friendships, family, etc. and I'm disapointed. Every sterotype about men has been fulfilled through them. I know you can't base an entire sex population over a few bad apples. I'm not that naiive. But, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jaded. I've seen it all - men cheating on their wives in some cheap rent-by-the-hour motel, men choosing to live out their unrealistic fantasy lives through pornography and strip clubs (and that's better than a real relationship? Oh, get over yourself!) Men who, at the moment of bordem, begin trying to find other things to fulfill their void. Take it from the Beatles, boys: You can't always get what you want. Abusers who verbally assult the ones they say they love the most - tearing them down and destroying any ounce of self-esteem or confidence that existed within themselves. Those who rape the innocent -while society says it's our fault. Sick-os who sexually assult children - not even having the slightest idea that one decision can, and will, affect the course of their lives. Men who treat their wives like an inconvevience rather than a blessing. Fathers who leave - while their daughters cleave to any man they can because they never had a father figure. Guys who don't ask you out because you don't look like Gisele from the Victoria Secret catalog (guess what? She doesn't look like that either...it's a little tool called airbrushing!) Husbands who leave because they got bored and found a new internet friend. Oh, have I lost faith? Heck yes I have.
I'm tired of hearing about relationships. I'm tired of looking at Christian books that promise if I do this or that, that God will bring my prince charming. I don't need any more feel-good converations. Just give me a big bite of reality and I'll swallow that just fine. (But I don't mind if it's seasoned with a little bit of tenderness and encouragement.)
Some times I just want to sit down and have a "good talkin' to" to all of the men who did stupid things to contribute to my already messed up and complicated ways. But, I have a feeling, they'd just walk away wondering if I forgot to take my Prozac.
So, there. I got it out. I am frustrated. Upset. Angry. But I know because I am a girl, that tomorrow...hope can be restored, forgiveness granted and prince charming...found.
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2 comments:
Well, whenever you want a good talking to I'm good at those. I'll sit you in a chair like a detective with a lamp on your face and just let you have it! Ha! I'm glad you got your lashing out on a blog and not onsome guys tires! The sad thing most of the things you say are completely true and that's called REALSIM which can be interpreted as CYNICISM. These horrible guys are what makes a good guy great, don't loose hope!
Hey. This is Hanna. I know how you feel. It seems most of the guys I have become friends with over the past two semesters are out for one thing and all the good guys seem to be taken. Screw all of those so-called self-help books about guys. I have never read any, but I am sure they don't work. I love ya girl! later.
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